www.hedanicreations.net

If not

If not through grace,
Than how do we live?
Through the struggles of youth
The trials of life
The tribulations in death

If not through hope,
Than how do we dream?
Of rainbows and horses
Of a future of good things
Of salvation with our king

If not through love,
Than how do we forgive?
For wrongs left undone
For pain that burns strong
For innocences lost in the young

If not for Him,
Than where are these things?
The strength of grace
The joy of hope
The patience of love

— H. Danielle Crabtree

Perfect Imperfection

What perfect imperfection lay in thee
A combination of crazy and sanity
The gentle mix that makes you bliss
In a world full of mediocrity

– H. Danielle Crabtree

The Mask

Little girl behind the mask;
A smile lights your face.
Hiding the tears that grace your cheeks,
In the evening of the day.

What makes you hide the way you do?
Why not find a place to shine?
The inner truth, the inner you,
The beauty sheltered inside.

What follies lead to evil things?
That bruised, that scarred,
That left you dead,
In this world of material things.

Little girl behind the mask,
Let a smile grace your lips.
Not in falsehood, but in triumph,
When you find a truth that’s real.

— H. Danielle Crabtree
July 16, 2010

Forever

What makes a day feel like forever;
When it’s but one turn of the earth?
The setting of the sun gives way to the moon;
Until the dawn flames the sky in rebirth.

In those hours of daylight and darkness,
Misery and sadness keep time.
Left in a void, a heart still yearns;
For an hour that is but an hour.

But each day spent in forever,
Winds down to another day dawned.
Until the torturous wait of eternity shifts,
From forever to fleeting through love.

— H. Danielle Crabtree

July 6, 2010

Here’s a new one. I wrote this a bit on the fly, so probably not one of my best, but hey, not for what it is. …

Missing you

What I’ll miss is the thousand kisses;
Your smile that lights your eyes.
The way your hand folds in mine;
And how you keep me warm at night.

To see your chest rise and fall;
To feel the breath that you breathe;
The beat of your heart, alive in my ear;
Let’s me know that you’re real.

And when the world starts closing in;
And the darkness erases the light;
The things I miss will get me through;
Until you’re back in my life.

– H. Danielle Crabtree
July 5, 2010

I don’t know about my friends, who also write, but lately, I haven’t been able to produce anything although I’ve had lines rummaging through my head. I started a random file in my poetry files for all the four to eight lines of greatness that erupt, but are never quite finished. I’ve been reading through them, but still, nothing clicks past what I’ve already scribbled (or type) into the file. It’s a bit sad actually, because I really think they all have potential. … like so many other things in life.

I guess the file mirrors my life right now — sad. Now, I cannot claim that it is all sad, because there is a portion that keeps me smiling despite the down. But, I think anytime life is in transition, there is always a bit of sadness, regret, loss, the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. I don’t like to dwell on them, but like everything that passes, it deserves that period of mourning so that you can come out on the other side and remember why life is worth living.

So, as I pilfer through my file, I see the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens with those lines and I mourn and find myself frustrated that such great turns of phrase have died before they were allowed to see the light of day. But, on the bright side, there will be other lines, collected into complete poems, and then posted on my site when I deem them something that I thoroughly love.

I guess that’s something to look forwarded to, like other good things in life.

It’s almost midnight and after ten days away, I’m finally back in my little apartment. The four days in Georgia and six in San Diego were probably the best time I’ve had in a long time. It was nice to actually take a vacation that didn’t include just driving to Oregon for the week. Don’t get me wrong, I love going home and seeing my family, but I needed a change for my last week of vacation this year and both destinations fit perfectly. Honestly, I never really feel like I’m on vacation when I am, but that was definitely not the case this last week thanks to two good friends.

I’ve uploaded photos (finally) of the hike at the falls in Georgia and some shots from SD. Just follow the link to my facebook page; the images are in the new albums there.

Dani

All right, so it’s my last day in Georgia. I got up around 8 a.m. here, 5 a.m. my time, and Jessica, the kids and I headed out to Amicalola Falls State Park. It was a pretty good trek out there, but a great hike. It was three miles or so round trip, up hill and strenuous at parts. I think I’m the only one still remotely functioning since I hike pretty regularly.

I’m working on getting some pictures uploaded, but the computer I’m borrowing doesn’t seem to want to allow me to do so. So, I guess, I’ll post what I can later.

Dani

update: Got the photos to work.

The last time I escape from work, life, etc., was last fall. I flew to Norway in October for a week and had a pretty nice time with Ryan. We really didn’t do much, but it was nice to be back in Europe and actually have some time that didn’t include the dreaded ‘w’ word that fills my every waking hour every other week of the year.

Seven months of that ‘w’ word and I’m a bit fried, which is why I am once again escaping the state of Arizona. My path this time around will take me to Atlanta for four days and then to San Diego for five days. I absolutely loathe flying. I get all sketchy days before I’ve even left, and unfortunately, that means my dog is also restless and pacing. He tends to mirror whatever anxiety I have, which in turn makes me wonder, ‘Why I’m am going some place I have to fly to again?’

But even with the anxiety, there is nothing like escaping the routine and the stagnation that comes with having a routine in the first place. It’s also nice to know that for the next week and half, there is no such thing as the ‘w’ word — just good friends, Shakespeare, waterfalls and then crazy So. Cal, where I’ve never been before (unless you count Disneyland and I really don’t think it does count).

I’m vowing to take pictures, but like Norway, we’ll see how many I actually take.

Dani

Greater than Me

In the darkness I stand
alone in the night
counting stars
wishing I could fly
What lies beyond
A simple question of faith
there must be more
then this life I face

When I can’t go on
I look to the sky
Finding faith
In the dark of the night
I know there’s hope
when I stand alone
and see
Something greater than me

It’s hard to wake up
face the blinding light
the hustle of day
the monotany of life
No change, only pain
until I can’t go on
Grace alone gets me through

When I can’t go on
I look to the sky
Finding faith
In the dark of the night
I know there’s hope
When I stand alone
and see
Something greater than me

– H. Danielle Crabtree