Hedanicreations

It’s almost midnight and after ten days away, I’m finally back in my little apartment. The four days in Georgia and six in San Diego were probably the best time I’ve had in a long time. It was nice to actually take a vacation that didn’t include just driving to Oregon for the week. Don’t get me wrong, I love going home and seeing my family, but I needed a change for my last week of vacation this year and both destinations fit perfectly. Honestly, I never really feel like I’m on vacation when I am, but that was definitely not the case this last week thanks to two good friends.

I’ve uploaded photos (finally) of the hike at the falls in Georgia and some shots from SD. Just follow the link to my facebook page; the images are in the new albums there.

Dani

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All right, so it’s my last day in Georgia. I got up around 8 a.m. here, 5 a.m. my time, and Jessica, the kids and I headed out to Amicalola Falls State Park. It was a pretty good trek out there, but a great hike. It was three miles or so round trip, up hill and strenuous at parts. I think I’m the only one still remotely functioning since I hike pretty regularly.

I’m working on getting some pictures uploaded, but the computer I’m borrowing doesn’t seem to want to allow me to do so. So, I guess, I’ll post what I can later.

Dani

update: Got the photos to work.

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The last time I escape from work, life, etc., was last fall. I flew to Norway in October for a week and had a pretty nice time with Ryan. We really didn’t do much, but it was nice to be back in Europe and actually have some time that didn’t include the dreaded ‘w’ word that fills my every waking hour every other week of the year.

Seven months of that ‘w’ word and I’m a bit fried, which is why I am once again escaping the state of Arizona. My path this time around will take me to Atlanta for four days and then to San Diego for five days. I absolutely loathe flying. I get all sketchy days before I’ve even left, and unfortunately, that means my dog is also restless and pacing. He tends to mirror whatever anxiety I have, which in turn makes me wonder, ‘Why I’m am going some place I have to fly to again?’

But even with the anxiety, there is nothing like escaping the routine and the stagnation that comes with having a routine in the first place. It’s also nice to know that for the next week and half, there is no such thing as the ‘w’ word — just good friends, Shakespeare, waterfalls and then crazy So. Cal, where I’ve never been before (unless you count Disneyland and I really don’t think it does count).

I’m vowing to take pictures, but like Norway, we’ll see how many I actually take.

Dani

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Greater than Me

In the darkness I stand
alone in the night
counting stars
wishing I could fly
What lies beyond
A simple question of faith
there must be more
then this life I face

When I can’t go on
I look to the sky
Finding faith
In the dark of the night
I know there’s hope
when I stand alone
and see
Something greater than me

It’s hard to wake up
face the blinding light
the hustle of day
the monotany of life
No change, only pain
until I can’t go on
Grace alone gets me through

When I can’t go on
I look to the sky
Finding faith
In the dark of the night
I know there’s hope
When I stand alone
and see
Something greater than me

– H. Danielle Crabtree

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First Person POV:

It was a catastrophe. The panicked look in his eyes, the snarl of anger crossing his lips simultaneously, while his fists clenched and unclenched set off warnings like the air raid sirens of World War II. He was a bomb, and I had only seconds to diffuse the situation before I faced the full force of his verbal assault.

– H. Danielle Crabtree

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First Person POV exercise:

I stared at the ivory and black of the eighty-eight keys that stretched before me, remembering the sound of the instrument without striking a note. It had been years since I had played. At first it was because I was too busy: school, then work, then family. I never found the time to just be anymore, to exist in a state outside of myself. Playing had done that for me, taken me to a place beyond mortal constraints, beyond the tangible laws of physics that governed the universe. Music had always been my other dimension, and I had freed myself of daydreams when responsibility screamed louder. My life had become this rigid existence that offered less than an ounce of happiness, if I could even measure the emotion. I was frustrated to the point that I wanted to scream, to let go of everything that had wound me up like a top. It was why I was sitting here, staring at the one thing that had always let my troubles float away.

I cracked my knuckles, cringing at the deplorable sound, and placed all ten fingers upon the ivory. My form was sloppy, but even still, I allowed my slender fingers to press down just enough to illicit the sweetest tone, and then I pressed another, and another, until the cadence of a song I thought I had long forgotten flowed from the hundred-year-old piano. I closed my eyes, feeling my way down the scales in much the same way a hand knows that of a lover. I increased the tempo, letting it time with my resting heart rate. And that’s when I found the peace that could come from nowhere else. I was in another world, one not bound by the fabric of reality, only by the harmonics my ears could decipher.

– H. Danielle Crabtree

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POV exercise:

There was danger in his eyes, the kind you only come face to face with in a nightmare. But this was a waking dream, evolving into reality, and there was no chance that I could pull my gun before he pounced.

I really wished I had waited for backup.

– H. Danielle Crabtree

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First person POV exercise:

I could feel his presence over the hum of the pounding music. It was a tingle, electricity, which coursed through my body, sending every hair up on in its end. I spun around, looking for the source of his unearthly aura. He stood across the room; his figure was obscured by the crowd dancing to the techno beat. Yet, his blue eyes were lamps within the darkness. They held me, controlled me, made me spin, and terrified me. Power like this was a thing of myths. Electrifying, tangible connections were products of love stories and silly sonnets and songs. It had no place in real life, and I could not help the fear. It kept me from teetering over the edge of insanity. I could not allow this energy that always formed between us to send me cascading into oblivion. He was a friend, and he could only be a friend. But he held me like static, and I craved his shock like a junkie.

I could only imagine what it would be like if we ever actually touched.

– H. Danielle Crabtree

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First person POV exercise:

Sometimes, it was as if I could feel the world spinning beneath my feet. The motion would make me queasy, like a carnival ride after a bad hot dog. I hated the feeling of unease, compounding to the point that I felt locked into the Earth’s will. And that’s when I would spin, with my arms extended until I moved faster than the chaotic, rotating world. In those moments, when my body became the axis, everything else felt as if it answered only to me. The power left me breathless; it brought joy to my heart as it took me back to the days when the sun seemed to rise and set for me, the time before deadlines, appointments and duty. And, for an instant, I reveled in that place before the nausea became an everyday ailment that made me lament becoming an adult.

– H. Danielle Crabtree

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Writing Exercise: Abbie’s POV exercise for ‘Roads.’ – H. Danielle Crabtree

I could hear the hiss of raise voices from the barn, and a sense of dread filled me. My older brothers had come home for the weekend, and at least one of them had declared war on Drew over James’ recent behavior. It wasn’t as if it was Drew’s fault that James had been caught smoking at school and that his grades had dropped off, but somehow, A.J. always found a way to put the blame on Drew because of his past.

I hated the way they argued and how it sometimes got so intense that Peter had to step in to keep them from coming to blows. Drew had always been the hot-head, but A.J. had been giving him a run for the title since Drew had taken custody of James and me. I liked living with Drew, in our family home, even if I wanted to see more of the world. It had been a comfort since our parents died, and it helped to have Drew home after so many years apart.

I sighed, and then picked up the feed bucket to hang it back on its hook. As I exited the barn, the hiss converted to broken sentences that included mine and James’ names. I proceeded across the yard, kicking up the dirt as I walked. As I stepped up on to the porch, I felt my heart lurch, and tears formed at the edges of my eyes.

“I don’t have to stay here, A.J., be here with them or for them,” Drew yelled. “It’s not like I didn’t have a life or things going on. But you don’t see that. You don’t see anything outside your little bubble, and I’m done with it.”

‘Done?’ I thought. How could he be done? He had promised to stay, to be there for me. Drew was the only person getting me through, getting us all through. A knot formed in my throat. He was not leaving me, too.

I sucked in a breath and then opened the door, staring between my brothers. My chin quivered and it felt as if a weight was holding me in place, even when Drew caught my gaze and refused to look away. I felt as if I would die on the spot, if Drew confirmed my worst fears in the next thirty seconds.

“I have custody, not you,” Drew continued, turning his heated gaze back to our brother. “And the interference ends now. I have given up everything to be here for them because they are worth it. They are not a duty, not a chore and sure as hell not a burden. The only way I’m leaving is if Abbie and James ask to go live with you or Peter.”

All my worries dissolved in that second, but I still thought I might cry out of happiness. Instead, I crossed the kitchen and threw my arms around Drew’s middle, hugging him tightly. “You mean that?” I asked, even with my face pressed against his t-shirt.

“Yeah, I mean that, Abs,” he said.

My arms tightened around him and I could feel his hands stroking through my hair. It was my greatest fear to lose him, that he would get tired of looking after us and return to wherever it was he had been for the last six years. I wasn’t a fool; I knew he hadn’t just skated through life like everyone else believed. He had changed from that child that had ripped our family in half, and not just because I believed he was the one pulling us back together.

“And what about James?” A.J. asked.

I pulled away from Drew, looking up at the firm lines of his jaw. He was still glaring at A.J.

“I’ll handle James.”

A.J.’s laughter echoed in the old kitchen. “You don’t stand a chance.”

“Maybe, maybe not, but I’m sure as hell going to find out.”

I smiled. I loved Drew’s stubbornness, and not just because I knew that stubbornness was part of the reason he hadn’t given up on us. I loved even more the fact that he wanted to be here. I also knew that this was just one battle; the war of the Covington brothers was far from over.

That scared me, but only just a little, because with Drew here, I always had hope, too.

– H. Danielle Crabtree

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